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The biggest disaster since the Fyre Festival concert fiasco has sparked a second apology from its promoters.
The director of the disastrous Willy Wonka Experience in Glasgow, Billy Cole, posted a lengthy explanation of what went wrong on Facebook.
The event, dubbed the “Willie's Chocolate Experience,” promised attendees chocolate fountains, Oompa Loompas performances, and “a celebration of chocolate in all its delightful forms.”
Instead, they got a sparsely decorated warehouse featuring two women in green wigs playing Oompa Loompas, and actor Paul Connell, whose red hair and beard made him less Willy Wonka and more like an Oompa Loompa.
The resulting uproar made global news, and spawned a cottage industry of related memes.
Shortly after news of the disaster emerged, the House of the Illuminati issued a brief statement.
“Unfortunately, we were let down last minute in many aspects of our event and we tried our best to keep going and move forward, and we now realize that we probably should have canceled first thing this morning instead,” the company statement said.
Realizing that the previous statement did not ease the anger, director Cole tried again today with a second, more detailed apology.
“I am reaching out to address the recent cancellation of the Willys Chocolate Experience event. First, I would like to extend my sincerest apologies to each of you who were looking forward to this event. I understand the disappointment and frustration this has caused, and I am truly sorry for that.
“It is important for me to make clear that the organization and decisions surrounding this event were solely my responsibility. I want to make it clear that anyone hired externally, or offering to assist, is not affiliated with me or the company, and any use of face could cause serious harm to those who had no Participate in making this event.”
Cole promised that refunds were coming, although his message was somewhat garbled.
“Regarding refunds, I am committed to rectifying this situation. All 850 transactions will continue to be refunded to ensure transparency and demonstrate my commitment to making this a right for all those affected.
“I ask for some time to process everything that has happened. My goal is to learn from this experience. Your support and understanding during this time means the world to me.
“Lifelong beer expert. General travel enthusiast. Social media buff. Zombie maven. Communicator.”